Thursday, March 7, 2013

it's like winters slapping me in the face

This morning I was driving around a bit earlier than I usually get started in my days. It was just around the time when people are starting, or in the middle of their commute into work. People walking, driving, riding their bikes.

It was a nasty day, with winds up to 45mph blasting you from the side, slushy snow that hit the streets and turned to water, and a temperature of 37degrees.  Just warm enough for me to sweat if I moved to much.

I start out all bundled up, I look in the mirror before I leave the house and make sure my hair is evenly placed around my face under my hat and I don’t have anything unsightly stuck to my face from breakfast. My mascara is waterproof, clutching to my eyelashes for dear life, refusing to let go even in the shower. Just the way I like it.

I look as presentable as I’m going to get, because I know what’s going to happen 10 minutes out the door. I’m going to fall the hell apart.

Let me back track to talk about a couple of people I saw on their commute this morning. They were all bundled up and braving this nasty day, just like I was, but there was one difference between us.

The elements had no effect on them. And I hate them for it.

Ok ok.. harsh..

The gusts of wind seemed to be working with their long hair, letting it flow behind them in waves with their hat perched so perfectly on their head. The snow turned to magic dust crystals when it hit there clothes and left no traces of a wet spot. There eyes were two bright spots in the middle of their big old faces, ready to take on whatever the day had in store for them.  

Is there some elite secret society for the preservation of your dignity when leaving the house on inclement weathered days? I'd like to subscribe to their newsletter.

When the wind hits me on days like this, I squint my eyes like I’m sucking on a lemon candy. I have a permanent scowl on my face like someone is consistently pissing in my cheerios, or like the world smells of farts. My hair doesn’t flow like waves behind me, but rather like the matted seaweed stuck in those waves. If you look close enough I probably even have a sea creature or two lurking in my locks.

The 65% of my hair that’s fake that frames my face takes on a life of it’s own and completely separates from the top layer of my real hair, I’ll attribute that to the sea creatures as well. It looks like I have some odd bowl cut that I missed a few pieces when getting cut.

I can only be thankful my mascara is waterproof or else it would be running in streams down my cheeks. My blotchy, red cheeks.

Inclement weather hates me, and I hate it right back. 



You should see me on 90degree days. I essentially melt into an old tomato that can’t process heat.

Winter be gone.

xo

6 comments:

  1. Dude wind is the worst >.< It doesn't matter what type of skirt I'm wearing. I could be wearing flippin' pants even and I'll still end up flashing everyone my lady bits. Stupid wind.

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    1. the wind you've encountered seems awfully talented as well. I mean, getting you to flash your lady bits even with pants on? damn! haha

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  2. I'm so sorry, I laughed so hard! I'm the exact same way. I can't walk elegantly in boots so much as tromp around, and I don't get wind-flushed so much as looking like I've been running a marathon breathing through a straw. My hair is the absolute worst. No matter what cut, what length, how I style it - it seems to become this frizzy, poofy, unkempt sort of pyramid on my head. All that said - summer is so much worse for me. So much worse. Spring and fall - that's okay. Sometimes.

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    1. hahhaa i loved this. breathing through a straw - i totally get this too!

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  3. Bahah Ohh I know this feeling all too well! I get the woooorst watering eyes when theres a bit of wind outside - when I was visiting New York it was the strangest thing because my ONE eye kept watering, a lot. I resorted to wearing sunglasses to try and block the wind haha, I looked like I'd just been broken up with or something.

    xo
    http://kittysnooks.blogspot.ca/

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    1. the old sunglasses trick, very handy! it's definitely better than looking like an emotional wreck because of the wind.

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