what i want from march | lately

One. My birthday to quietly walk across the stage, bow, and exit without making a big scene. Or hopefully without flipping me off too.

Two. The sun to stay out past 6pm, and to peak its bright ass head out for more than one day during the week. Can I get rid of this seasonal depression already?

Three. Grow hair, grow.

Four. Day trips to eat my favorite cheese platter. Yes, I’d drive 30 minutes to eat a plate of cheese. Maybe even two plates. Mama loves her cheeseeee.

Five. I’d like to sleep in until at least 10am one of these days. My month would be complete if I could spend the rest of that day napping too.

Six. A day off would be amazing. I haven’t had one yet, so give a girl a break.

Seven. The first season of Once Upon A Time to get out of my system. You suck, but I can’t get enough of you knowing there’s always one more I can watch.

Eight. My wine to stop running out. An every other day run to the liquor store is making me look like I have a problem.

Nine. My grandma, and mom to send me my Christmas presents. If they want to save time and send my birthday presents with them, that’d be great too.

Ten. I want to pet a goat. Maybe even a pig too. Even if goats can be assholes and pigs feel weird.

I've been drinking too much beer lately, knowing full well I shouldn't. My hair is unruly and creating it's own rules. Winter is eating my soul alive, and I can only sit back and watch it dine. I'm to tired to put on real clothes, I live out of my car and find my personal time only exists in the morning. I'm having a hard time saying no, but desperately need a date night with my Kh. I'm thinking to much, and saying to little. Running on empty but always feeling too full. March is always a strange month for me. 

xo

fridays [mid level] five

:: I’m quite sure I went through one big bottle of merlot, and 2 smaller bottles of merlot this week. Drunk McDrunkpants.

:: It’s a good thing I don’t like my personal space. This pitbull was with me for almost an entire week and had to be up my butt the whole time.

:: I let Lucy sleep in the bed with me all week. This will stop when Kh gets home. I woke up the other morning to the sound of snoring, her head on my pillow, and her little body tucked in the blankets.

:: I wore Kh’s shirt to bed more than once.

:: I finally gave in and put some laundry away. Not before laying in the middle of it throwing a fit first. 

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Overall this week was damn boring. It doesn't really deserve a high five. I spent a lot of time writing, and generally just staring off into space. Kh got home at around 7am this morning. We napped on the couch for a while and now I have to head to get some work done. Pfft. I just want to stay in bed with her. We're going out for dinner and drinks tonight to celebrate her arrival back home, and my departure from my job. It's something worth celebrating. 

xo

this is me : currently

(hey. I have shorts on. don't get cheeky)

 

:: Currently ::

Obsessing over ::  

Finding the right time to make a big change, one that will set into motion something I can’t stop for a long time to come. It’ll make me have to take on full responsibility of tasks I can normally default to only being a middle woman on. I’m slightly terrified, and stressing out every second about when’s the right moment. But, there’s never the right moment and you have to just take the plunge and create change for yourself, if you ever want to see changes come. 

And the length of my hair. der.

Working on ::

My website for said change. I’m going over every single detail making sure it’s perfect. Almost obsessively.. So, see above?

My etsy shop. My artwork. My uncanny ability to ignore problems. I’m always a work in progress. 

What if I admitted to the fact I was working on facebook stalking a girl I used to sleep with, would you judge me? What if I said her newest girl friend is close to 10 years younger than her and was totally wearing a completely sheer shirt with a yellow bra while opening presents with her family and it was totally fun to be grossed out in my own head and admit it on my blog?

Thinking about ::

What day this weekend I can spend the entirety of it in my pajamas watching movies I haven’t seen in forever while eating ice cream cake. And probably drinking.

Oh, and the fact I get to sleep the * bleep * in tomorrow.

Anticipating ::

Next Friday when Kh gets home from being away this entire week. She’s only been gone from my sight for about 11 hours and I’m already a huge mopey bitch.

Listening to ::

Absolute silence and it’s AMAZEBALLS. Once in a while a dog will let out a heavy sigh, but even that is tolerable when I have all other sounds turned off. I need this.

Eating/Drinking ::

A tall glass of merlot. With the bottle right next to me. Yes and please. Even though it's having the affects of drinking fermented grape juice. I don't like this kind one bit. Mer.

Wishing ::

I don’t find it’s beneficial to wish on things, as I’ve learned wishing doesn’t bring anything to a culmination..I sound like a cynical old biddy.

Ok, let me try that last one again so I don’t sound so much like a crankfart…

..eh..I wish this wine wasn’t crappy. There! A wish! 

Linking up with The Paper Mama for her Self Photo Challenge!

 

I liked this little link up. I used to be obsessive about taking self portraits as a way to document the ever evolving, ever elusive manifestation that was.. is.. and might always be.. Stephanie Marie. Dun dunn.. Ever since photography school I took a step back and haven’t really done much behind/in front of the camera play. I liked goofing around and getting nothing good out of this photoshoot but still using a shot.

 

One of the dogs just barked and my precious silence is ruined.

xo