Tuesday, May 28, 2013

and i'm back

This was me. On a beach in Mexico. Mexico gave me Robert Smith hair.

My four day vacation in paradise has come to an end. We got home around 10pm last night, and have been doing what everyone does after vacation.. Going through a little shell shock at trying to get back into ordinary life, unpacking, and doing so much laundry that I'm sure won't get put away for another week or more. And recouping from a stomach bug that hit me early this morning. I'll spare you the gory details.

I can't quite express how amazing the entire experience was just yet. I'm piecing together the words. I felt a wild awakening inside of me that I haven't felt stir in quite some time. There was something freeing about putting your feet in the ocean and knowing you were no where near home.

I'll have pictures galore once this slight stomach bug I caught decides to let me really get back to my life.


Sunday, May 19, 2013

im ready for my vacation now, just dont make me try on anymore swimsuits

I’ve mentioned it about a million times, but this coming Friday I leave for a four-day weekend in Mexico.

I’m pretty much beside myself and can’t function as a normal human being until I’m on that plane.

We have someone staying at our house to watch the girls (aka our dogs), all of my clients are aware I’ll be away, I have my away message all raring to be put on display, and holy crap I need to be away already.

Last night Kh and I got a little over zealous and looked at 600+ photos of the resort we’ll be staying at on TripAdvisor.  I needed to get a better idea of what I should plan on wearing, I know, a little silly right?

I bought 5 pairs of shoes for this upcoming trip, or rather Summer in general really. 4 pairs of sandals, and one pair of wedges. This isn’t including the pair of sandals I bought last minute at an end of season sale last Fall. I probably only plan on bringing 4 pairs with me, however. Kh doesn’t think that’s reasonable, but I completely do.

On her way home this past Friday she stopped in to H&M real quick to get some shorts and dress pants for herself and ended up buying me a vacation purse. I’m pretty much the luckiest girl ever. She knows my style so well she can buy things for me. Uh, true love.
I also found this super cute maxi dress at Kohls, surprisingly enough. It has multi-color triangles on the bottom. While shocking it’s not all black, I’m pretty much in love with it.It's in the top right, the others just didn't do it for me.

Tomorrow when my household settles down a bit more, I plan on doing some last minute shopping. I need to get at least two more bathing suit tops (shoot me now, kay?), and one (who am I kidding, a couple more) maxi dresses.

I’m mentally preparing myself for the saga that is trying on a swimsuit. A couple of years ago I found the cutest two-piece, tank/halter top swimsuit in the maternity section at Target. Do I care its maternity? Not in the slightest. It’s got a scalloped edge on the bottoms and fits my curves.

On my last adventure to Target I thought I’d try on a few (4) bathing suits to humor myself. And humor myself it did not. The two that humored me the least?

The first one was a one-piece, with a built in padded bra situation. The particular size I was trying on fit me great in the mid section. But if you cast your eyes lower you’d look upon the forming of a camel toe, and if your eyes wandered upwards you’d find my boobs strangely getting choked down, but not even remotely filling up the padded cups that were sewn haphazardly into the top of the swimsuit. Like some kind of stretched out taffy with a ping pong ball in the end. And by ping pong ball I mean a nipple and my hard boob parts.

The second one was a black halter top that fit great, but the bottom portion of it let me say hello to my old friend camel toe that I had just seen a glimpse of previously. It also strangely rode up my butt crack and wouldn’t even come close to middle of my hips.

I left Target feeling like I had been slapped with a heavy dose of body shame and sprinkled with some self-loathing. Do you know how I changed it?

I got naked. Stood in front of my mirror and said “fuck you Target bathing suits.”

Of course I waited until I was home to do all of the above-mentioned naked shenanigans. But that’s generally what I do when I’m having a day when I feel less than or some how not fully whole as a result from shitty fitting rooms and ill fitting clothing.

So in closing. I’m going to fucking Mexico in 5 days and my mind is completely shot. I will be sitting my ass in a chair, on a gorgeous beach, drinking before noon, and writing in one of my many blank notebooks. I plan on clearing my head, centering myself, and probably drinking too much and chasing an iguana around.


Tuesday, May 14, 2013

flowers, tattoos and a good cause

You know what’s fantastic? Having a couple of glasses of wine on a Tuesday night and thinking “shit, I leave for Mexico in 10 days.”

I mean, at least that’s what I’m thinking tonight.

This past weekend was one of those jack-shit happened but I barely had any time to get my own stuff done kind of weekends. The never-ending saga that is my crappy cars health kicked in to over drive. We spent most of Saturday waiting for an appointment to get a flat tire fixed, only to have the tire place tell me they didn’t have the tire we needed. Then we spent 2 hours Sunday morning waiting for said tire to get replaced. It was great..

If you like being tempted by a vending machine full of chocolate bars at 9am.

Sunday afternoon I talked my friend into coming with me to a local tattoo shop that was having a fundraiser for families that were affected by the Boston Marathon bombing. Several other tattoo shops in the area had done the same. A sheet of flash had been drawn up of Boston Strong inspired tattoos, and I’m all over random tattoos. Especially for a good cause. 
 It’s my little Pru. I asked for some pink, and gave my artist liberty on the rest of the colors.

I took a nap once I got home. Because what else do you do at 3pm on a Sunday? Amiright?

Once I woke up, Kh and I walked to one of our go-to places for an early dinner. We forgot it was Mother’s Day and got to enjoy the wonderful entertainment of listening to awkward interactions of Mother’s and their sons/daughters significant others.

On the walk home Kh bought me some flowers from a lady on the street. 
Oh.. She’s a keeper.

Even if she did use my $10 to buy them.


Wednesday, May 8, 2013

i need a month of weekends

It's Wednesday. I woke up this morning thinking it was Friday, and I was beyond heartbroken when reality set in. I have 16 days left until we leave for Mexico. I am so ready for this vacation. I'm almost afraid to return from it and have to get back into daily living.

I've been having some fantastic weekends as of late. Lets start with the last weekend in April shall we?

Kh and I took a day trip to a local Zoo. Ok, not so much a day trip as it's literally 10 minutes from our house. It was a pretty sad excuse for a zoo, and I'm still convinced most of the animals were trying to kill themselves.

The flamingo enclosure smelled like fishy poop death, which was heightened by the intense body odor emitting from a few of our fellow onlookers. We got to see a tiny bat almost pee on his own face while hanging upside down, that was pretty funny. 

Kh was pretty entertained with the llamas, and the monkeys. I found this pretty awesome wood carving.

I asked Kh to take a picture of me. Kh has this habit of taking a million pictures of me, in every single state of talking. Goofing off, mouthing back at her, and doing my impression of what I usually end up looking like. 

 I think the bottom left shows off my personality quite well. 

After the Zoo we went up to Salem to grab some lunch. We sat outside and soaked up some more sunshine. And drank some beer. Obviously.

This past weekend we wandered around Somerville Open Studios. My friend Janine over at Salvage Love was participating. She has some amazing reclaimed wooden art, refurnished furniture and jewelry. She also had beer and some wine, so that was an added bonus. 

Later in the night we went to our favorite restaurant with some friends. We gorged ourselves on yummy food, and our waitress/bartender/owner kept bringing us sample drinks. 

Since I'm on the topic of weekends. This coming weekend we're going to be celebrating our two friends graduation from law school. Fancy cocktails and good food. I'll probably even con Kh into going shopping for Mexico attire. 


Friday, May 3, 2013

i'm just not having it

Let me tell you a story.

Yesterday I was bringing a client home. He’s a dog; just to make sure that’s known. We’re standing at the elevator waiting for it to make it’s slow decent to the first floor, when a woman walks up and stands next to us. Little man decides he wanted to start throwing up; he does that every now and again. So I stand there, waiting for him to finish doing his thing. 

He finishes just in time for the elevator doors to open up. I glance over at the woman who is giving me the nastiest glare you can imagine. I get in the elevator, and this exchange ensues.

Woman: You better clean that up. Don't you dare just leave it there!
Me: Does it look like I have paper towels on me? Ill take care of it.
Woman: I'm so sick of seeing messes all over this place.
Me: I highly doubt it was him all over the complex, mind your own business.
Woman: It IS my business! Leaving a mess like that! How dare you! (she continues on for a while)
Me: It's time for you to shut up now.
Woman: (with disgust) What did you just say to me?
Me: (while smiling) You heard me. It's time for you to shut up now.
Woman: (dumbfounded glare)

I took the dog back to his apartment, got him all settled in, then headed down to the concierge to let them alert maintenance to take care of it. I would have myself, but again, I don’t carry cleaning supplies in my back pocket.

There are a few things that infuriate me instantly. One of the biggest would have to be when complete strangers find it somehow acceptable to speak to you in public in a disrespectable way and are shocked when they are put in their place.  I’m not sure where people get the gumption to do things like this, but I really don’t stand for it.

This ranges from people cat calling out of car windows, inappropriately touching someone (in my case, my tattoos),  or even those times when you’re at a bar or in line at a store and someone gives you the stink eye or talks about you within earshot. Even worse is when I hear someone say something about a friend/relative, I get a little crazy.

It’s about time more people stand up for themselves and not let people get away with it.

Don’t take no shit.