my melodrama with melatonin

A couple of weeks ago Kh took a trip to Canada for work, an entire week to be exact. Before she left, I was having a few issues with my sleep schedule, but nothing to really call attention to.

During her absence I was lucky if I got 5 hours of sleep. I’d head to bed around 10, and lay there staring at my phone finding the end of the internet. I’d fall asleep 2 hours later, wake up in 2 more hours and do it all over again. I was frustrated and exhausted. Two things that really don’t look good on me.

After she got home I had a few good nights of sleep, and bam my insomnia came back. I tried sleeping pills a couple of times but really hated how groggy the lasting effect was the rest of the day.

A friend recommended I try melatonin, so I did.

And now I have a bottle of 96 caplets I don’t want to touch.

The first night I tried it, I was out like a burnt light bulb.  Until around 4am when I woke up from the most vivid slightly terror inducing dream I’d had in a long time.

In the dream one of my closest friends, all with a smile on his face, proceeds to tell me he doesn’t need me in his life any longer. That I’m a waste of a friendship, and so on and so forth. I woke up stressed out and couldn’t fall back asleep for another hour and a half.

The next day I was all take this melatonin and shove it. But I’m a slow learner and tried it again that night.

Like clockwork, around 4am I woke up from a terrifying nightmare that was so vivid I can still get goosebumps thinking about it. Kh and I were laying in bed, lights off, our usual routine when she looks at me wide eyed after we hear footsteps in the house and tells me we’re supposed to be alone. Just then a dark figure walks into the room with a shot gun and aims it between Kh and I.

Bam! I’m awake staring wide eyed at the end of our bed. That one took a while for me to fall back asleep from. It’s one of my biggest fears/creep factor is hearing noises in the house when it should be quiet.

After two incidents, I decided to lay off the melatonin.

I’m not sure I can think of anything more frustrating than not getting a good nights sleep. Especially for a granny like myself. Last night I found myself asleep by 10, then awake by 2am and unable to go back to bed until somewhere around 3:30am. I used to have real issues with my sleep, and it's quite frustrating to have it start creeping back into my life. 

I’ve plotted my breakup with melatonin, but I don’t want to go back to my mistress of sleeping pills. While I love finding the end of the internet every single night, it’s getting pretty old. 

xo

 

just a dash of this and that

Last week I got to live up the bachelor lifestyle. Staying up past midnight, having dinner with friends, and watching whatever I wanted on Netflix.

Well, not really. I stayed up late every night because I was having a hard time sleeping. I had dinner with friends to avoid not being able to sleep and really hating cooking lately. And Netflix? I didn’t turn it on once. I was all about the NatGeo youtube channel. More specifically, The Dog Whisperer. A few silent tears were shed, I'm not going to lie.

Kh was out of town and I mostly just caught up on work.

This past weekend we did some of this. 

And this.

 We also saw Insidious 2 and went out to eat a lot. I'm in a "stay out of the kitchen and don't go near the stove" kind of mood lately.

And then I made her go shopping with me on Sunday. 

My loot included: 

 

2 new pairs of flats

3 pairs of leggings

one tank top with a crochet bottom hem

one black cardigan

one tunic with a pattern on it 

I put a little color in my wardrobe.. Kind of.

Boomm. Bandit style.

Now I’ve been bit by the shopping bug and just want to buy sweaters and boots. 

It's 9pm and I can't wait for bed. My insomnia has been creeping back in, forcing me to get very little, to extremely terrible sleep every night. I'm a creature that needs at least 9 hours of sleep or I'm useless and cranky. So, I'm useless and cranky right about now. 

xo

 

small adventures and wonderful finds

I’ve been doing ok lately. How about yourself?

Summer has (what feels like) finally ended here. The past 2 days it’s been in the 60’s, and we’re talking about going apple picking this weekend. I’m pretty fucking happy summer is done with. Call me a bad person, but I hate summer. 

A couple of weekends ago we took an overnight trip to CT to do some antiquing. Kh is from CT, so we just crash at her moms’ house. Which is always an adventure. They have a gigantic German Shepard who I'm sure would love to eat my face (no, really, he's scary), and her mom always has to fill us in on what's happened every day since last we saw her. This time I had just gotten a new tattoo, so throw in a few back handed comments about a new tattoo and why'd I'd want to do that and you have a fun filled night.

But the antiquing part was fun. 

 

The one thing I wanted more than anything, but Kh refuses to let me have one in the house. She's such a party pooper! I just want to talk to Captain Howdy, is that so wrong?

My goodie haul for the trip. I got it all at one antique shop, even though we went to four. 

:: one :: fish eye mirror with an eagle on top of it
:: two :: vintage doilies, and old clothe napkins
:: three :: a big plastic baggy filled with old photographs 

:: four :: a repainted vintage tray 

We have big plans of building a blanket fort tonight, making a cheese and cracker plate, grabbing some wine and going through the bag of old photos. I'm hoping to sleep in the blanket fort and have coffee in it tomorrow morning. 

My favorite find by far? This. An antique hourglass.

 

ekkk. Fall. 

xo

just a sunday night

Tonight I had to meet one of my best friends boyfriend for the first time. It wasn’t nearly as awkward as meeting her previous love interests, so I at least had that going for me. They’ve only been together for 3 weeks, already live together and have been talking about getting married and having a kid by New Years.. Or I guess getting married and having the kid started by New Years. Started cooking in that vagina oven. Or something.

I’m not quite sure what to think of it all, they say lesbians move fast and here I am still trying to weave my way through if we should get married or not after 3 years.

Anyways. The last man she had me meet was named Normand. He was about 4 inches shorter than me, which is impressive considering I’m 5’4”. He wore tight boy jeans, with pre-ripped holes all down the front of them and bedazzled crosses on the back butt pockets. His light plaid shirt was tucked in and a slightly over-sized belt buckle held on tightly to his black leather belt.

We spent most of the night listening to him talk about how expensive his clothes were, and how much he enjoyed going to the strip club. I’m not really sure if he heard much of what we had to say to him. Which is probably for the best, I told him he had bad hair.

I had them meet us at our favorite local restaurant tonight. After dinner and a few drinks each we came back to my house and sat out on our porch. She kept the sex talk to a minimum, so thankfully my neighbors didn’t have to hear about.

I noticed the absence of Kh after a while, and we all decided to call it a night. I found her passed out in the bed, she came out to say her goodbyes, then shortly after passed out back in bed with her shoes and glasses on. I don’t think she could hang tonight.

I made a hot dog and started watching The Wild and Wonderful Whites while, of course, drinking a beer.

I can’t wait to sleep in tomorrow. 

Thank all that is good that summer is over with. 

xo