currently: end of july

Loving. Just about everything. I got the urge to get tattooed again recently, and have since gotten tattooed twice in less than a week.

 
I've been wanting my wishbone forever, and I love it. I've been going to Amanda at Empire Tattoo, and she's fantastic. I have a million more ideas I'll be throwing her way.

Not loving so much. Trying to heal hand tattoos in the start of my work week. What was I thinking? Impulsive.. My moms back in the hospital. My dog has elevated liver enzymes and needs an abdominal scan. My kitchen is infested with fruit flies and I’m waging a war against them. And.. a few other things.

Reading. You can check out this post for a more in-depth look at it all. But I started the Undertaker Tales Sunday, and it gave me nightmares last night. I can’t really blame it on that though, I have been watching a lot of horror movies.. More than usual.

Watching. The Killing. I just realized a couple of weeks ago that it was back on television, and since then I’ve been watching it religiously every week. I love a crime drama, and I’ve been obsessed with this set of characters and storyline since Season 1. 

We’ve also gone to the movies a lot recently. I saw The Conjuring last week, and Pacific Rim (job) this past weekend. Both of which I really enjoyed. A mindless action movie with robots and aliens, and a ghost story featuring the Warrens set in the 70’s? My movie boner was at an all time high.

Working on. Stenciling/hand painting tote bags. Dream catchers, and magnet sets.

Wearing. Jean shorts. A combination of the two things I hate more than anything. But I’m being pretty lazy and it’s been really hot out. I usually look like I have mom butt really bad in shorts, especially of the jean variety.

I bought my first order from asos.com and while I loved the dresses, they didn’t fit. I over estimated the sizing and I was swimming in them. Sent back and waiting for a reorder. I'd like it to just be fall already so I can wear boots and cardigans everywhere.

xo

 

currently: reading list

Mockingjay : Suzanne Collins

I really enjoyed this 3 book series, even after I’ve seen the first movie. I even felt a bit of a loss that this was the final book. I was pleasantly surprised with the way she was able to bring about closure, even after so much gore. This book was gorey. My biggest complaint has always been Ms “woe is me, which guy do I pick” Katniss.

The Historian : Elizabeth Kostova

I got this book for Christmas, and it has taken me that long to finish it. I’ve picked it up and given up on it twice already, including on vacation. I refused to even read it on the plane ride to Mexico, that’s how serious my giving up on it was. I hate leaving books unfinished, so fueled by my internal guilt about not finishing it, I picked it up and finished it within a week.

It was 500 pages of her describing in great detail landscapes, monasteries, libraries, and rehatching out details you already new but in a letter within a story context so that somehow made it different. The italics on this part in particular killed my eyes... The last 100+ pages? The parts that actually mattered? Flew by with barely any detail. Characters came crawling out of the back story like no big thing. It wasn’t terrible, but it didn’t need to be just shy of 700 pages long.

Affinity : Sarah Waters

Not to long ago I read Tipping the Velvet by the same author, and really enjoyed it. It had a lot of lady sex happening in it, and she did a fairly decent job of recounting affections between two women.

This book? I gave up on it a couple of times, but again my guilt kicked in and I had to finish it. I was sorely disappointed. She spent a great deal of time recounting an upper class woman’s day-to-day life in 1874. The longing and uncertainty was well captured, but the lack of real substance made it a hard sell for me. There wasn’t a lot of supernatural nor spookyness about it.

The Devil in the White City : Erik Larson

Another book that took me absolutely forever to finish. The historical basis that sets the background to HH Holmes’ murderous tale couldn’t keep me hooked. Once I was able to get through all of that, the retelling of his capture and sadistic deeds was even a bit lackluster. So much time and effort was put into the beginning of most of these books, I just wish there woud be some follow through.

Railsea : China Mieville

A retelling of Moby Dick, set in another world where the earth is covered in railways and giant moles are hunted like whales. So far an easy read, and the author is quite good at setting up the visuals for this new world.

The Help : Kathryn Stockett

I began listening to this as an audio book, but soon realized I didn’t want to purchase the whole thing as an audio book, and have switched over to reading it. I’m only a couple of chapters in, but so far I like the characters.

Confessions of a Working Girl: A TrueStory : Miss S

Women Who Run With the Wolves : Clarissa Pinkola Estes

Undertaker Tales: What They Don’t Teach You at Mortuary School

I’m especially excited for the books I just purchased. I’ve heard good things about all three of them. I'm trying to curb my appetite for even more books, considering I haven't even gotten these three in the mail yet. 

xo

 

getting lost in the miles

Ok, ok. Yesterday morning I sat down with my coffee fully prepared to disclose my weekend adventures, when I just lost interest and got sucked into work. Work that I really should have been working on weeks ago, but lost interest in that as well.

I’ve been going through a bit of a rut for a while now. Issues in my relationship, feeling not whole as a person, and combating with what feels right to continue with in my life. So, naturally I did what I always do when I feel bogged down and lost, I got in a car (a rental, my car would have fallen apart 20 miles into the adventure) and drove back to New York. I can’t remember the last time I visited with my family, and the day before it was my mom’s birthday. Off I went!

I had almost completely forgotten how recharging it is to me to drive for miles on end. To open the windows, sing along to songs on the radio, and lose myself in the journey.

I planned it so my brother drove up from where he lives as well to surprise my mom. It’s usually my way of doing things, I tell very few people I’m coming into town and surprise my family. It worked. We had dinner and general tomfoolery that comes with getting together. I spent just enough time with them to qualify it as quality time, but not enough to drive me crazy.

Later that night I went to see one of my (used to be) closest friends. I hadn’t seen him in 3 ½ years. We had a huge falling out, which took years to mend. We went out for a few drinks and tried to catch up as best we could. It was heart wrenching, and I’m still working out the feeling of what we had lost that can’t quite be fixed. It’s never easy to realize a close friendship is broken.

On the drive back home I multi-tasked between crying, singing along to 90’s pop songs, and indulging in fast food French fries.

Monday night turned into a long relationship talk with the girlfriend. I’m still reeling from all the emotional exhaustion I’ve felt for the past few days, and mostly just want to keep myself busy so I don’t think about any of it. I'm terrible when it comes to letting emotions sink in. I even ordered checks yesterday. Checks, like from a bank. From a miserable woman that couldn’t stop chewing on her mouth, might I add.

I’m trying to move towards the beginning of August with a new found sense of clarity and realization. Trying to find my footing, and push forward in my goals, not letting anything get in my way while also finding the right decision on matters that may be hard.

In a slightly lighthearted turn of events, I’ve scheduled my next tattoo appointment tomorrow. I’ve already been plunged headfirst into work, and need to really start prioritizing what keeps me sane. Going 8 weeks between having a full day off is not one of those things.

xo 

it was our anniversary and im obsessed with avocados

Three years ago, on the 10th, Kh and I had our first date. It was only after I stalked her a little, on facebook that she finally asked me out.

I was working in a salon; she was a client of someone I had known for years. Someone I had known for years, and even worked at another salon with. We had never crossed paths until then. I saw her, and thought she was the most handsome person ever. She was wearing business casual, her button up shirt tucked in to her pants, a side bag looking like a briefcase. I was a bit smitten.

So naturally I did what any self-respecting person in this day and age would do, I came across her profile on facebook through a girl that I was on again-off again sleeping with, and added her.

She likes to say this is the part where she was all “Whattt! I think the hot girl from the salon is adding me on facebook! What do I do!” To which her best friend replied, “When a hot 24 year old wants to be your friend, you don’t question it, you just do it.”

We met up on a Saturday in the early evening after I got off work. We went to a low-key bar, and talked for hours. Afterwards, she walked me the entire way home, which was about an hour and some change.

From that moment on, our dates lasted well into the morning hours, and it was hard to separate when we did have to say our goodbyes. To do things like go to work and sleep. It took her around 3 months to finally kiss me, and we still joke about her calling us a situationship for the better part of that first year.

I don’t know where I’d be without her in my life. She’s my rock, and keeps me sane.

She also buys me amazing gifts like a sterling silver caste vertebrae of some small animal. 

 On our actual anniversary we went out to seafood restaurant I'd never been to before. The atmosphere was really so loud we couldn't chat, but we were able to make ridiculous hand gestures and goof around. 

I am loving vodak infused iced tea drinks lately. Delicious. 

For an appetizer we got BBQ shrimp, and practically fought over it. They were amazing. 

My meal looked like this. And while that doesn't look appetizing in the least bit, and seriously who would even second glance at it.. The big chunk of a thing in the front is half of an avocado, grilled with pineapple salsa in it. Can i just say? AHHHHHmazing. I've been on an avocado overload ever since.

I put avocado in my eggs yesterday morning, on my salad the day before, and today I have big plans for the half of avocado I'm squirreling away in the fridge. I might overdose on it. 

It's Monday and I don't really want to get a move on the rest of my week. Yesterday I laid on the couch and watched episode after episode of Lost. I'm finally watching it after all the hype has passed. It was great barely having any work to do and being to hungover to really do any work to begin with. 

xo

this is my obligatory I saw fireworks post

I could go on about how busy I’ve been with work, and how my social life is nonexistent. I could tell you about how I just want to start my own “Stay at Home Club” and never leave my dark AC climate controlled living room. But really, how much fun is that?

In case you were wondering, not much at all, and it’s my life right now. 

On the upside I realized a new season of The Killing is currently on TV. Since I don’t have cable, I made the $17.99 investment and bought it on iTunes. I managed to watch all 7 episodes yesterday, and even get Kh sucked into the show. I just love Enos, she’s my new gf. Even if it made me have crazy crime drama dreams all last night.

Ok. So let’s talk about what I did around this all American holiday. On the 3^rd Kh, our two friends and myself went up to Gloucester to watch the annual fireworks. We sat next to a canal, watching boats head out to the harbor. I love watching drawbridges go up, and secretly was more thrilled about this part than the actual explosions in the sky.

The downside? I forgot to put on bug spray and got eat-the-fuck-up by some would not quit it mosquitoes. 

The fireworks were.. fireworky. Colorful explosions in the sky. Afterwards we stopped at a Roast Beef place and I got a strawberry milkshake that tasted like strawberry Nesquick mix, and it was delicious.

On the actual 4^th, we spent the day having a cookout poolside at Kh’s bestie and her girlfriends’ house. The pool belongs to their landlords, who were away for the holiday week. Prior to leaving they had let their friends know they could come use it, so of course their friends did. With 4 children in tow.

We spent most of the 4^th trying to have a larger ratio of gays always present, and discussing never really wanting to have children. As the children ran amok eating anything we left on the table and kicking Kh in the pool. 

We brought the girls with us, let them freak out over puppy ice cream and play on the grass. Cuteness.

 We even got Lucy to go swimming. She hated me for it, but it was real cute. I'd share a video we made, but it has me talking in it, so no way Jose. 

 I came home and promptly passed out. The only thing I want in my life these days is to take sporadic naps and get rid of my tan.

That’s essentially what I’ve been up to. This weekend we went out for dinner Friday night, and I spent the rest of the weekend working, and trying to keep up my hermit status. I finished a book I was pretty disappointed with, painted a few sea creatures, and became obsessed with avocado and black beans in scrambled eggs. Pretty eventful, right? I am such a party animal.

And now I want avocado in my eggs.

 

xo

all your friends suck; and I hate a lot

I was stopped at a red light yesterday. Staring off into space just wanting to get out of my car, when I couldn’t help but stare at a group of three girls walking down the street. They were just what you’d picture if I described three girls in their mid-20’s, wearing Summer dresses, shorts and tank tops. Taking it easy, strolling down the street.

I watched them for an entire block until the light turned green.

I drove off with only one thought in my head. That one thought? People sure are jerks.

For that entire block, I watched the three girls walk side by side, then one after another while passing other pedestrians. One of the girls, the one that happened to walk first in line, had her skirt stuck on her bag and pulled up exposing her underwear. And in turn the bottom of her butt cheek. The tag of her shirt was hanging out, which wouldn’t have been a big thing; except for the fact it was one of those 4” long tags just flapping in the breeze.

 I know I have some shitty friends, but if one of them let my butt hang out for over a block, I’d probably slap them.

Maybe it’s the heat, no; it’s definitely the heat. Making my patience and tolerance barely there, and my irritability extra high.

[source]

Especially..

:: Working outside on these excruciatingly hot and muggy days with no AC in my car.

:: Coming home to my house being destroyed by a dog that’s staying overnight. She shredded two of my candles. Shred-ed.
:: Slow drivers, not using a turn signal, bicyclists, tailgaters, general shitty drivers.
:: People who can’t manage to pay their invoices even remotely on time. And those that "forget" to leave payment before long trips.
:: Busybodies.
:: When others make assumptions that you’ll do something for them.
:: Flip flops being worn in public. Socks and sandals..
:: Repeating myself.
:: Close walkers and people who sit to close to you in a movie theater. People who crowd you when you’re shopping.

:: When check out clerks carry on a personal conversation the entire time you’re getting rung out.

:: Shopping at Whole Foods. Rude ass people, it’s like post-apocalyptic hell in there.

:: Never getting a day off.
:: The awkward length my hair is and how it turns into a fluffy cotton ball the second I step outside in this soupy weather.
:: Having to wear shorts to stay cool. I hate shorts.
:: When my coffee gets cold.

And bam. I’m still shitty at updating this thing. Does anyone have big 4^th of July plans? I’ll be sitting poolside drinking most of the day. Oh yes.

xo