Tuesday, September 24, 2013

my melodrama with melatonin

A couple of weeks ago Kh took a trip to Canada for work, an entire week to be exact. Before she left, I was having a few issues with my sleep schedule, but nothing to really call attention to.

During her absence I was lucky if I got 5 hours of sleep. I’d head to bed around 10, and lay there staring at my phone finding the end of the internet. I’d fall asleep 2 hours later, wake up in 2 more hours and do it all over again. I was frustrated and exhausted. Two things that really don’t look good on me.

After she got home I had a few good nights of sleep, and bam my insomnia came back. I tried sleeping pills a couple of times but really hated how groggy the lasting effect was the rest of the day.

A friend recommended I try melatonin, so I did.

And now I have a bottle of 96 caplets I don’t want to touch.

The first night I tried it, I was out like a burnt light bulb.  Until around 4am when I woke up from the most vivid slightly terror inducing dream I’d had in a long time.

In the dream one of my closest friends, all with a smile on his face, proceeds to tell me he doesn’t need me in his life any longer. That I’m a waste of a friendship, and so on and so forth. I woke up stressed out and couldn’t fall back asleep for another hour and a half.

The next day I was all take this melatonin and shove it. But I’m a slow learner and tried it again that night.

Like clockwork, around 4am I woke up from a terrifying nightmare that was so vivid I can still get goosebumps thinking about it. Kh and I were laying in bed, lights off, our usual routine when she looks at me wide eyed after we hear footsteps in the house and tells me we’re supposed to be alone. Just then a dark figure walks into the room with a shot gun and aims it between Kh and I.

Bam! I’m awake staring wide eyed at the end of our bed. That one took a while for me to fall back asleep from. It’s one of my biggest fears/creep factor is hearing noises in the house when it should be quiet.

After two incidents, I decided to lay off the melatonin.

I’m not sure I can think of anything more frustrating than not getting a good nights sleep. Especially for a granny like myself. Last night I found myself asleep by 10, then awake by 2am and unable to go back to bed until somewhere around 3:30am. I used to have real issues with my sleep, and it's quite frustrating to have it start creeping back into my life. 

I’ve plotted my breakup with melatonin, but I don’t want to go back to my mistress of sleeping pills. While I love finding the end of the internet every single night, it’s getting pretty old. 


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