fall in new england: apple picking

Apples!

xo

small adventures and wonderful finds

I’ve been doing ok lately. How about yourself?

Summer has (what feels like) finally ended here. The past 2 days it’s been in the 60’s, and we’re talking about going apple picking this weekend. I’m pretty fucking happy summer is done with. Call me a bad person, but I hate summer. 

A couple of weekends ago we took an overnight trip to CT to do some antiquing. Kh is from CT, so we just crash at her moms’ house. Which is always an adventure. They have a gigantic German Shepard who I'm sure would love to eat my face (no, really, he's scary), and her mom always has to fill us in on what's happened every day since last we saw her. This time I had just gotten a new tattoo, so throw in a few back handed comments about a new tattoo and why'd I'd want to do that and you have a fun filled night.

But the antiquing part was fun. 

 

The one thing I wanted more than anything, but Kh refuses to let me have one in the house. She's such a party pooper! I just want to talk to Captain Howdy, is that so wrong?

My goodie haul for the trip. I got it all at one antique shop, even though we went to four. 

:: one :: fish eye mirror with an eagle on top of it
:: two :: vintage doilies, and old clothe napkins
:: three :: a big plastic baggy filled with old photographs 

:: four :: a repainted vintage tray 

We have big plans of building a blanket fort tonight, making a cheese and cracker plate, grabbing some wine and going through the bag of old photos. I'm hoping to sleep in the blanket fort and have coffee in it tomorrow morning. 

My favorite find by far? This. An antique hourglass.

 

ekkk. Fall. 

xo

just a sunday night

Tonight I had to meet one of my best friends boyfriend for the first time. It wasn’t nearly as awkward as meeting her previous love interests, so I at least had that going for me. They’ve only been together for 3 weeks, already live together and have been talking about getting married and having a kid by New Years.. Or I guess getting married and having the kid started by New Years. Started cooking in that vagina oven. Or something.

I’m not quite sure what to think of it all, they say lesbians move fast and here I am still trying to weave my way through if we should get married or not after 3 years.

Anyways. The last man she had me meet was named Normand. He was about 4 inches shorter than me, which is impressive considering I’m 5’4”. He wore tight boy jeans, with pre-ripped holes all down the front of them and bedazzled crosses on the back butt pockets. His light plaid shirt was tucked in and a slightly over-sized belt buckle held on tightly to his black leather belt.

We spent most of the night listening to him talk about how expensive his clothes were, and how much he enjoyed going to the strip club. I’m not really sure if he heard much of what we had to say to him. Which is probably for the best, I told him he had bad hair.

I had them meet us at our favorite local restaurant tonight. After dinner and a few drinks each we came back to my house and sat out on our porch. She kept the sex talk to a minimum, so thankfully my neighbors didn’t have to hear about.

I noticed the absence of Kh after a while, and we all decided to call it a night. I found her passed out in the bed, she came out to say her goodbyes, then shortly after passed out back in bed with her shoes and glasses on. I don’t think she could hang tonight.

I made a hot dog and started watching The Wild and Wonderful Whites while, of course, drinking a beer.

I can’t wait to sleep in tomorrow. 

Thank all that is good that summer is over with. 

xo

it was our anniversary and im obsessed with avocados

Three years ago, on the 10th, Kh and I had our first date. It was only after I stalked her a little, on facebook that she finally asked me out.

I was working in a salon; she was a client of someone I had known for years. Someone I had known for years, and even worked at another salon with. We had never crossed paths until then. I saw her, and thought she was the most handsome person ever. She was wearing business casual, her button up shirt tucked in to her pants, a side bag looking like a briefcase. I was a bit smitten.

So naturally I did what any self-respecting person in this day and age would do, I came across her profile on facebook through a girl that I was on again-off again sleeping with, and added her.

She likes to say this is the part where she was all “Whattt! I think the hot girl from the salon is adding me on facebook! What do I do!” To which her best friend replied, “When a hot 24 year old wants to be your friend, you don’t question it, you just do it.”

We met up on a Saturday in the early evening after I got off work. We went to a low-key bar, and talked for hours. Afterwards, she walked me the entire way home, which was about an hour and some change.

From that moment on, our dates lasted well into the morning hours, and it was hard to separate when we did have to say our goodbyes. To do things like go to work and sleep. It took her around 3 months to finally kiss me, and we still joke about her calling us a situationship for the better part of that first year.

I don’t know where I’d be without her in my life. She’s my rock, and keeps me sane.

She also buys me amazing gifts like a sterling silver caste vertebrae of some small animal. 

 On our actual anniversary we went out to seafood restaurant I'd never been to before. The atmosphere was really so loud we couldn't chat, but we were able to make ridiculous hand gestures and goof around. 

I am loving vodak infused iced tea drinks lately. Delicious. 

For an appetizer we got BBQ shrimp, and practically fought over it. They were amazing. 

My meal looked like this. And while that doesn't look appetizing in the least bit, and seriously who would even second glance at it.. The big chunk of a thing in the front is half of an avocado, grilled with pineapple salsa in it. Can i just say? AHHHHHmazing. I've been on an avocado overload ever since.

I put avocado in my eggs yesterday morning, on my salad the day before, and today I have big plans for the half of avocado I'm squirreling away in the fridge. I might overdose on it. 

It's Monday and I don't really want to get a move on the rest of my week. Yesterday I laid on the couch and watched episode after episode of Lost. I'm finally watching it after all the hype has passed. It was great barely having any work to do and being to hungover to really do any work to begin with. 

xo

this is my obligatory I saw fireworks post

I could go on about how busy I’ve been with work, and how my social life is nonexistent. I could tell you about how I just want to start my own “Stay at Home Club” and never leave my dark AC climate controlled living room. But really, how much fun is that?

In case you were wondering, not much at all, and it’s my life right now. 

On the upside I realized a new season of The Killing is currently on TV. Since I don’t have cable, I made the $17.99 investment and bought it on iTunes. I managed to watch all 7 episodes yesterday, and even get Kh sucked into the show. I just love Enos, she’s my new gf. Even if it made me have crazy crime drama dreams all last night.

Ok. So let’s talk about what I did around this all American holiday. On the 3^rd Kh, our two friends and myself went up to Gloucester to watch the annual fireworks. We sat next to a canal, watching boats head out to the harbor. I love watching drawbridges go up, and secretly was more thrilled about this part than the actual explosions in the sky.

The downside? I forgot to put on bug spray and got eat-the-fuck-up by some would not quit it mosquitoes. 

The fireworks were.. fireworky. Colorful explosions in the sky. Afterwards we stopped at a Roast Beef place and I got a strawberry milkshake that tasted like strawberry Nesquick mix, and it was delicious.

On the actual 4^th, we spent the day having a cookout poolside at Kh’s bestie and her girlfriends’ house. The pool belongs to their landlords, who were away for the holiday week. Prior to leaving they had let their friends know they could come use it, so of course their friends did. With 4 children in tow.

We spent most of the 4^th trying to have a larger ratio of gays always present, and discussing never really wanting to have children. As the children ran amok eating anything we left on the table and kicking Kh in the pool. 

We brought the girls with us, let them freak out over puppy ice cream and play on the grass. Cuteness.

 We even got Lucy to go swimming. She hated me for it, but it was real cute. I'd share a video we made, but it has me talking in it, so no way Jose. 

 I came home and promptly passed out. The only thing I want in my life these days is to take sporadic naps and get rid of my tan.

That’s essentially what I’ve been up to. This weekend we went out for dinner Friday night, and I spent the rest of the weekend working, and trying to keep up my hermit status. I finished a book I was pretty disappointed with, painted a few sea creatures, and became obsessed with avocado and black beans in scrambled eggs. Pretty eventful, right? I am such a party animal.

And now I want avocado in my eggs.

 

xo

at least it's not monday anymore, or my awkward moment of the week

My least favorite, and by far the most awkward part of my job, is the client consultations. It’s one of those necessary evils. If I want new clients, I have to make time to meet said new clients.

And meeting said clients takes place in their homes, with just me and them in attendance. Kh refuses to go with me, I can't blame her. These things suck. I thankfully have only had one instance where I felt incredibly uncomfortable.  For the most part, I just see a lot of dirty houses, clutter, or meticulously cleaned apartments.

Last night I had my first crotch shot.

Ok let me back track. I scheduled a client consultation for 6:30pm. I spent the better half of my afternoon with the time 5:30 stuck in my head, boy was I heart broken when I realized I can’t keep track of shit and I was way off.

We had a heavy downpour just as I’m walking out to my car. I get in, look at my directions once more and then drive off. All the while sheets of rain are pouring down on my windshield, the wet spots on my jeans are now cold in the warm air from my car.

I arrive just outside the woman’s apartment 20 minutes early. I call my mom and chat with her about absolutely nothing until I can head inside.

I ring the doorbell and hear footsteps coming down the entryway staircase. A tall, slender woman in her mid-30’s greets me. She’s wearing a red dress that’s tight on top, flowy on the bottom and a belt that can’t seem to get tight enough around her tiny waist. She’s wearing sandal wedges, which helps her be at least 5” taller than me.

I greet her politely and shake her hand. She heads up the stairs first, thankfully. I hate it when I have to navigate my way to a place I’ve never been before.

We go on a hunt to find both of the cats. One of them is lying in her room on her blindingly white bed. I have to step over piles of clothes and shoes to get to the cats. I wasn’t prepared for an obstacle course. We stand there awkwardly chatting, me trying to ignore the giant mosquito netting she has hanging above her bed, until I finally push the meeting along and ask to see the rest of their stuff.

Fast forward to us in the kitchen. She drops the bomb that I need to visit twice a day and one of the cats needs medication. It’s always something, and people don’t like to tell you beforehand.

I have a lot of experience administrating medications to pets, but she decides to show me how the cat takes his pill. She puts the pill inside a ‘pill shooter’ and kneels down to try and coax him over.

So here’s the mental image. The tall sinewy woman in her flowy red dress, kneeling, no, squatting, with her butt touching the backs of her heels. Her legs are close together as she continues to try and talk this cat into coming closer to her.

The next several of minutes go down like this.

The cat slowly starts to saunter over to her, all the while her legs spread farther apart. Soon she has the cat facing me between her legs, with her legs wide open. The red flowy dress is not helping her in this situation, as it’s caught on her knees.

The cats face is directly blocking my view of her crotch. I don’t think she has underwear on.

My first instinct is to stand up and start looking at something else.

My second instinct is to see if she actually has underwear on.

I go with my second instinct. I shift my focus back and am completely relieved to see she has peach colored underwear on. Ok, slightly less awkward.

I stand up and try to make talking to her as painless as possible. I try to make sure my expression doesn’t convey “Ok lady I just saw your pantie crotch shot.”

She shows me how to use a set of keys, and I make a b-line for the door.

The monthly award for most awkward client consultation goes to this one.

xo

flowers, tattoos and a good cause

You know what’s fantastic? Having a couple of glasses of wine on a Tuesday night and thinking “shit, I leave for Mexico in 10 days.”

I mean, at least that’s what I’m thinking tonight.

This past weekend was one of those jack-shit happened but I barely had any time to get my own stuff done kind of weekends. The never-ending saga that is my crappy cars health kicked in to over drive. We spent most of Saturday waiting for an appointment to get a flat tire fixed, only to have the tire place tell me they didn’t have the tire we needed. Then we spent 2 hours Sunday morning waiting for said tire to get replaced. It was great..

If you like being tempted by a vending machine full of chocolate bars at 9am.

Sunday afternoon I talked my friend into coming with me to a local tattoo shop that was having a fundraiser for families that were affected by the Boston Marathon bombing. Several other tattoo shops in the area had done the same. A sheet of flash had been drawn up of Boston Strong inspired tattoos, and I’m all over random tattoos. Especially for a good cause. 

 It’s my little Pru. I asked for some pink, and gave my artist liberty on the rest of the colors.

I took a nap once I got home. Because what else do you do at 3pm on a Sunday? Amiright?

Once I woke up, Kh and I walked to one of our go-to places for an early dinner. We forgot it was Mother’s Day and got to enjoy the wonderful entertainment of listening to awkward interactions of Mother’s and their sons/daughters significant others.

On the walk home Kh bought me some flowers from a lady on the street. 

Oh.. She’s a keeper.

Even if she did use my $10 to buy them.

xo

i'm just not having it

Let me tell you a story.

Yesterday I was bringing a client home. He’s a dog; just to make sure that’s known. We’re standing at the elevator waiting for it to make it’s slow decent to the first floor, when a woman walks up and stands next to us. Little man decides he wanted to start throwing up; he does that every now and again. So I stand there, waiting for him to finish doing his thing. 

He finishes just in time for the elevator doors to open up. I glance over at the woman who is giving me the nastiest glare you can imagine. I get in the elevator, and this exchange ensues.

Woman: You better clean that up. Don't you dare just leave it there!
Me: Does it look like I have paper towels on me? Ill take care of it.
Woman: I'm so sick of seeing messes all over this place.
Me: I highly doubt it was him all over the complex, mind your own business.
Woman: It IS my business! Leaving a mess like that! How dare you! (she continues on for a while)
Me: It's time for you to shut up now.
Woman: (with disgust) What did you just say to me?
Me: (while smiling) You heard me. It's time for you to shut up now.
Woman: (dumbfounded glare)

I took the dog back to his apartment, got him all settled in, then headed down to the concierge to let them alert maintenance to take care of it. I would have myself, but again, I don’t carry cleaning supplies in my back pocket.

There are a few things that infuriate me instantly. One of the biggest would have to be when complete strangers find it somehow acceptable to speak to you in public in a disrespectable way and are shocked when they are put in their place.  I’m not sure where people get the gumption to do things like this, but I really don’t stand for it.

This ranges from people cat calling out of car windows, inappropriately touching someone (in my case, my tattoos),  or even those times when you’re at a bar or in line at a store and someone gives you the stink eye or talks about you within earshot. Even worse is when I hear someone say something about a friend/relative, I get a little crazy.

It’s about time more people stand up for themselves and not let people get away with it.

Don’t take no shit.

xo

 

i wish i could be in you one last time

It’s always important to blog about something of content. Something of substance. Something people can relate to. Right? Pfft.. Well, that’s why I’m going to tell you all about how upset I am with my favorite pair of boots dying on me. 

Oh, my dear boots. I purchased you for less than $20 at Burlington Coat Factory 2 years ago. I was unsure about you. Your slouchy, ill-fitting tops hit awkwardly on my calves. My legs looked short and stumpy in you, and I’ll admit I didn’t love you right away.

I put you in my closet. On the bottom, buried under my other black boots. Collecting dust, and slowly being forgotten. I’m sorry for so much lost time. I’m sorry I neglected your needs and want to be worn and used like any other boot.

One day, I put my feet in you while in a rush to leave the house. You were there for me, and you felt so right with me in you. You brought my otherwise sloppy outfit together, making it look like I tried, when everyone knows I didn’t. Oh, how I hate not trying when leaving the house.

You went with me on shopping trips, and trips to the grocery store. You were there waiting when I couldn’t be bothered with a zipper or shoelaces.

The first signs of decay came when my foot got wet while walking on the sidewalk. I knew our days were numbered. Slowly, I felt more of a draft and a cold distancing between us. Today, your sole shattered. There is no fixing what we had, no amount of googling for your long lost twin will bring me satisfaction of wearing you again.

It’s going to take me at least 2 weeks to throw you away. Maybe, just maybe I’ll try to glue you back together and hold on for just a bit longer. 

 

Oh, my dear boots.

xo

five reasons why i should be allowed to sleep an entire day this weekend

Last night I spent an hour trying to log onto my tumblr account. After trying every single email/password combination I could think of, I realized I was trying to log onto facebook. Fail.

While brushing my teeth last night, I dropped my toothbrush completely out of my hand and it bounced off my tank top. I refused to change said tank top. Tonight Kh looked at my tank top and said, “Is that toothpaste? From last night?” Opps. I’ve been caught.

I wrote today’s date at least 8 times today, and each time I wrote the date as 2014. I’m living in the future, bitches. (3/13/13 what a strange date..)

I just fell asleep while sneaker shopping online.  

And drooled. 

xo

it's like winters slapping me in the face

This morning I was driving around a bit earlier than I usually get started in my days. It was just around the time when people are starting, or in the middle of their commute into work. People walking, driving, riding their bikes.

It was a nasty day, with winds up to 45mph blasting you from the side, slushy snow that hit the streets and turned to water, and a temperature of 37degrees.  Just warm enough for me to sweat if I moved to much.

I start out all bundled up, I look in the mirror before I leave the house and make sure my hair is evenly placed around my face under my hat and I don’t have anything unsightly stuck to my face from breakfast. My mascara is waterproof, clutching to my eyelashes for dear life, refusing to let go even in the shower. Just the way I like it.

I look as presentable as I’m going to get, because I know what’s going to happen 10 minutes out the door. I’m going to fall the hell apart.

Let me back track to talk about a couple of people I saw on their commute this morning. They were all bundled up and braving this nasty day, just like I was, but there was one difference between us.

The elements had no effect on them. And I hate them for it.

Ok ok.. harsh..

The gusts of wind seemed to be working with their long hair, letting it flow behind them in waves with their hat perched so perfectly on their head. The snow turned to magic dust crystals when it hit there clothes and left no traces of a wet spot. There eyes were two bright spots in the middle of their big old faces, ready to take on whatever the day had in store for them.  

Is there some elite secret society for the preservation of your dignity when leaving the house on inclement weathered days? I'd like to subscribe to their newsletter.

When the wind hits me on days like this, I squint my eyes like I’m sucking on a lemon candy. I have a permanent scowl on my face like someone is consistently pissing in my cheerios, or like the world smells of farts. My hair doesn’t flow like waves behind me, but rather like the matted seaweed stuck in those waves. If you look close enough I probably even have a sea creature or two lurking in my locks.

The 65% of my hair that’s fake that frames my face takes on a life of it’s own and completely separates from the top layer of my real hair, I’ll attribute that to the sea creatures as well. It looks like I have some odd bowl cut that I missed a few pieces when getting cut.

I can only be thankful my mascara is waterproof or else it would be running in streams down my cheeks. My blotchy, red cheeks.

Inclement weather hates me, and I hate it right back. 

You should see me on 90degree days. I essentially melt into an old tomato that can’t process heat.

Winter be gone.

xo

fridays [mid level] five

:: I’m quite sure I went through one big bottle of merlot, and 2 smaller bottles of merlot this week. Drunk McDrunkpants.

:: It’s a good thing I don’t like my personal space. This pitbull was with me for almost an entire week and had to be up my butt the whole time.

:: I let Lucy sleep in the bed with me all week. This will stop when Kh gets home. I woke up the other morning to the sound of snoring, her head on my pillow, and her little body tucked in the blankets.

:: I wore Kh’s shirt to bed more than once.

:: I finally gave in and put some laundry away. Not before laying in the middle of it throwing a fit first. 

 ------------

Overall this week was damn boring. It doesn't really deserve a high five. I spent a lot of time writing, and generally just staring off into space. Kh got home at around 7am this morning. We napped on the couch for a while and now I have to head to get some work done. Pfft. I just want to stay in bed with her. We're going out for dinner and drinks tonight to celebrate her arrival back home, and my departure from my job. It's something worth celebrating. 

xo

stream of conscious sunday : a little alone time

On Friday I dropped Kh off at the subway station, and watched her disappear from my review mirror. She was on her way to a flight out West. To sunny California (at least it’s got to be sunnier than Massachusetts).

She’s going to be gone until next Friday. Her company is doing some work for TED, and she’s one of the lucky few that get to go. They went last year, and she got to tweet with Bill Nye. Neat, right?

I mean, Bill Nye tweeted her scribing, and then she retweeted his tweet of her scribing and they took a picture together.  Does that all make sense? Twitter confuses me!

When we first started dating, Kh was often traveling for work. Brussels, Germany, London, all over the US. But within the past year or so her promotion and role has changed considerably and she doesn’t travel nearly as much. We lived in different apartments then, and it was easy to get my alone time. Now I have to squeeze it in whenever I can.

The first afternoon without her coming home to dinner I’m all “le sigh”. Then the second day I’m all “ok, I can do this, lets get shit done!” But after that I slowly get lonely and miss the shit out of her. I've been making her facetime with me instead of talking on the phone, this way I have to pay attention and can't jut "uh huh" her to death. 

Ohhh do I love my alone time. 

My top 5 favorite things to do when I’ve got the apartment to myself. And try not to think of anything dirty here people. That’s usually a given.

1: I find any and every excuse to take a million naps on the couch.
2: I stay up until 1am drinking wine until I’m either too tired or to drunk to stay awake any longer.
3: I watch tv shows like The Vampire Diaries, because no ones here to yell at me and tell me it’s crap.
4: I go on a culinary tour of exotic places via my foodler account.
5: At the very last possible moment I rush around doing various chores to make it seem like I didn’t spend the entirety of my time alone doing all of the above. This is my least favorite, it means dishes.

I’m using this next week as a time to recharge myself. I’ve been running low on steam, and letting a lot of every day things slip by me.  I haven’t been in a positive, nor productive mindset in what seems like a very long while, and my mission this week is to kick my own ass back into gear. Whether it be finishing projects that have been sitting on the shelf, do some early Spring cleaning, or finally take that last step needed to be on my own business wise. I’m going to get it done. And I’m not going to be watching any paranormal movies while doing it. Serial killers? No problem. Psychotic disfigured beasts on a rampage? Ok, let’s do it. But ghosts? Scare the shit out of me when I’m alone. 

xo

just because.. it's tuesday doesn't mean i'm not drinking

My day. Was. Rough. I got started before 10am, and didn’t actually sit down (other than in my car driving like a mad woman) until after 7pm. My client list for the day quite literally doubled overnight. While it’s stressful the day of, afterwards I feel really great and exhilarated how well I’m doing almost completely on my own.

At my last stop of the night, I told Kh I’d pick her up from the subway (or T if you’re a Boston local). I was about 10minutes away from her and asked if she’d mind grabbing me a bubbly water (aka seltzer, carbonated, amazingness). And maybe a sweet treat.

I’m not a big sweets eater, but (sorry to go there) I got my period raging bad last night and all I wanted was something chocolatey, a bottle of advil, a hot water bottle, and my pajamas.

I pull up to where I’m supposed to meet Kh. There she is, standing in the rain holding a bag. She gets in the car and I suspiciously eye the logo on the side of the bag. 

Do you know what that mother-licker got me? A fucking oreo ice cream cake from JP Licks aka my favorite oreo ice cream making place ever.

Holy shit do I love her. I came home, put on my pajamas, and ate a piece of it. Before dinner. I didn’t even care, and it was so good I pretty much died a little.

That was my Tuesday, and shit did it ever end on a good note. 

 
 

xo